Monday, March 12, 2007

The Doldrums

For the last few months, I am been in the doldrums. I have been going through the motions. I have been living, breathing, and moving; but I have not been right. It felt like I was walking through a fog. I was moving but without direction or knowledge of where I was going. It felt like a dream I often have. The dream is of me sleeping and desiring to wake up. I realize that I need to awaken but for some reason my eyes won't open. My brain is functioning like I am wide awake, but I am unable to see anything. I fight and struggle to wake up but to no avail. I am blind. As I reflect on this dream, I wonder if this wasn't a mere dream but a vision of my reality for the last few months. I was awake but not really. I don't know the exact reasons for this, but I have some guesses. I believe I have been under spiritual attack. I believe I had forgotten my passion. I believe I had been running to others for strength. I know that I had been neglecting my Savior. But, the doldrums have passed and sight has returned. Last week, God broke through the fog and reminded me of where my true strength resides, only in him. Finally, I have returned. I am back and ready to retake my place in the line fighting against the enemy. I will stand in the gap. I will stand firm in God's mighty power. Who will fight alongside me?