Sunday, May 07, 2006

Who is Equal to Such a Task?

"Who is equal to such a task?"...today at Church Dustin spoke about Guilt and how God frees us from the guilt of our past sins and past failures. He forgives us and frees us from the bondage of guilt. One would think that following a sermon like that I would leave Church feeling upbeat and free. Yet, I left Church with a burden. Following Sunday School, I had a brief talk with one of my youth sponsors. During this conversation, I learned some information about one of my students that breaks my heart. I need to talk to the parents of this student about this, and it will be difficult. Also, I get the impression from some of my other jr. high students that they don't respect me and may not even like me. Usually this does not bother me, but when my students don't like me i question myself. I recognize that I am sinful. I struggle with lust and laziness daily. I know that I don't do enough to help my ministry be more successful, but at the same time I know that I will never be able to do enough to help my ministy be more successful. I will never have enough time, resources, or sponsors to meet the needs of each of my students. This does not justify my laziness, but it is reality. Who is equal to such a task? Who can do enough? Who can be enough? I am weak. I am broken. I am frail. I am human. This task of being a minister of the gospel is too big for me. But praise be to the God who makes the impossible possible and uses broken frail sinful humans to accomplish his purposes. I know that he has put me in Mason City for a reason. I must strive to grow and be the man I am called to be. I like Paul cling to this verse "my grace is sufficent for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Lord, I am weak and I am in need of your grace...