The Breaking Point

Have you ever been pushed to your breaking point? All things have a breaking point. A breaking point is the point at which enough force or pressure is put upon something so that it breaks. What is your breaking point? How much pressure can you handle before you reach the breaking point? Again, have you ever been pushed to your breaking point? Or has God ever pushed you to your breaking point?

In John 6, we see Jesus pushing people to their breaking point. He is with his disciples on a mountainside, and a great crowd followed him. He looks up sees the crowd and asks, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” His disciples are confounded. Jesus then proceeds to perform a miracle by feeding over 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish. That night, Jesus goes up on the mountain to pray. While he is doing this the disciples get in a boat and sail across the lake. Jesus comes out walking across the water and joins them. Two major miracles have occurred both showing that Jesus is master of this world. The crowds wake up the next morning and realize that Jesus has gone. So, they set out for Capernaum looking for Jesus. They find Jesus and ask, “Rabbi, when did you get here?” Jesus responds by telling them that they came to eat some more of the bread he gave them, when they should be coming to him for the bread that endures to eternal life. He goes on tell them that he is the bread of life. They begin to grumble at this. They could not accept that he had come down from heaven. Then, Jesus continues saying that they must eat of his flesh in order to live forever. This puts the Jews in sharp disagreement. It was scandalous to think of eating raw flesh, let alone a man’s raw flesh. That totally went against the Law. Jesus responds to them by saying that they must eat of his flesh and drink of his blood or they will not have eternal life. At this point, his disciples began to grumble and argue about this. Jesus replies, “Does this offend you…this is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him.” From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. The crowds and his own disciples had been pushed to the breaking point. Jesus turned to the Twelve asking, “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Peter answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe that you are the Holy One of God.”

Has God pushed you to your breaking point? Is your response like that of the crowds and disciples or the Twelve? Only Christ has the words of true life. When God pushes me to the breaking point, I have nowhere else to go. “Lord to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal

A Rock and A Hard Place

I am between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what to do to solve the connundrum that is before me. The only options I see I don't like. I hate this...how does this all get worked out? Oh joy, the Rock and the Hard Place...

Live Love

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16

Live Love.

God has called each of us to be his people in this community. We have been chosen to be a part of his kingdom. The foundation of that kingdom is Jesus Christ. Christ came to show us how to be the kingdom while living in a broken world. The words, the actions, the pulse of the kingdom is love.

Love has many forms, romantic love, puppy love, tough love…each one is different but all contain the same essence. Love is giving what is needed no matter the cost. Sometimes love hurts. It is painful to love someone. There is always the chance that they won’t return or acknowledge your love. But the kingdom is about love. Love is confronting a friend unrepentant of their sin. Love is providing for a need. Love is saying no to the easy way out. Love is giving up what I want for what God wants or needs me to do. Love takes time. Love takes perseverance. Love moves where God is moving.

We have been called to Live Love. 24/7. To our community, to our families, to our friends, to ourselves. We must Live Love.

Live Love. 24/7

The Point of No Return

Lately, I have been wrestling with the issue of God's goodness. I know God is real. I know God loves me, but I have been struggling with his goodness. I believe he is good. I have experienced and continue to experience his goodness, but I am trying to reconcile his goodness with some stories in scripture. I have been reflecting on the life of the prophet Jeremiah. From an outsiders perspective, Jeremiah's life seems to be pretty crappy. At one point, he even calls God out saying that God has deceived him and he is deceived. Jeremiah was used by God to speak to the people of Judah about the coming invasion of the Babylonians. He was thrown into a cistern. He was put in prison. He had an assaination attempt carried out against him. The people refused to believe his message. He is known as the "weeping prophet". God used this prophet to speak to his people, but his life does not appear to be blessed. In all actuality, it appears to be the opposite. I admit that I don't know the direction God has for my life. I don't know if I am simply in a time of weakness, but I keep coming back to this idea that God wants me to be obedient and follow him no matter what. I have no guarrantee from God that he will bless me in the ways that I want so desperately. I have no promise from him that he will do what I desire. I have been commanded to follow him regardless. Its a bitter pill to swallow to think that God in his goodness may not give me the desires of my heart. I have reached the point of no return. If God is good, may his goodness be showered upon me. However, if he chooses not to, so be it. I am all in. I am trying to surrender what I want the most to him. Lord, let my words be your words, "Father, not my will but your will be done". But if you will let my desires be fulfilled. Past the point of no return, "Father, you are all I have to cling to!"

Who is Equal to Such a Task?

"Who is equal to such a task?"...today at Church Dustin spoke about Guilt and how God frees us from the guilt of our past sins and past failures. He forgives us and frees us from the bondage of guilt. One would think that following a sermon like that I would leave Church feeling upbeat and free. Yet, I left Church with a burden. Following Sunday School, I had a brief talk with one of my youth sponsors. During this conversation, I learned some information about one of my students that breaks my heart. I need to talk to the parents of this student about this, and it will be difficult. Also, I get the impression from some of my other jr. high students that they don't respect me and may not even like me. Usually this does not bother me, but when my students don't like me i question myself. I recognize that I am sinful. I struggle with lust and laziness daily. I know that I don't do enough to help my ministry be more successful, but at the same time I know that I will never be able to do enough to help my ministy be more successful. I will never have enough time, resources, or sponsors to meet the needs of each of my students. This does not justify my laziness, but it is reality. Who is equal to such a task? Who can do enough? Who can be enough? I am weak. I am broken. I am frail. I am human. This task of being a minister of the gospel is too big for me. But praise be to the God who makes the impossible possible and uses broken frail sinful humans to accomplish his purposes. I know that he has put me in Mason City for a reason. I must strive to grow and be the man I am called to be. I like Paul cling to this verse "my grace is sufficent for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Lord, I am weak and I am in need of your grace...

Inked

On Friday, March 26 at approximately 2:15 pm, I joined the ranks of the inked. It took roughly an hour to get my ink done. I had it done at a small shop here in Mason City. Going into it, I had been given different opinions on how it feels to get a tattoo. Some said that it hurt a lot, while others said it didn't hurt at all. I must admit that when it began it was not the most pleasant of feelings, but it did not hurt bad. I noticed that the longer it went the better it felt. I don't mean that it stopped hurting, but that the pain felt good. It was a cathartic pain. It felt like I was being purged by pain.

My tattoo is a celtic trinity symbol. It has been used for centuries to symbolize the oneness and threeness of the Godhead. This particular symbol has a smaller symbol on the inside. This is a symbol of the unity of a person, our body, soul, and spirit. This tattoo represents the reality that a person can only be united and whole when all of them is caught up inside the Godhead. I can only be who God has called me to be when I am in right relationship with him.

Hours after my tattoo was finished, I understood the addictive nature of tattoos. I already have plans on what I want to get next on my left forearm. I figure I have to balance my arms out. I can't have one on the right forearm and not on the left. So once I have the cash and the design, here comes tattoo #2!

P. S. having a tat makes me feel even more B A...

The Veil Grows Thin

The ancient Celts believed that at certain times and in certain places the veil that separates our realm from God's realm becomes thin. When this happens, we are able to catch glimpses of transcendence and the beauty of that realm. They marked these times with sacred days that were holy to them. They marked the places of power with stone cairns that alerted people to the sacredness of the place. They hallowed any place that reminded them of the intersection of the two realms such as the edge of a forest, where does the forest end and the outside begin, the beach, where does the ocean begin and the beach end, a crossroads, where does one end stop and the other begin. All of these places are pictures of the intersection.

This weekend, I witnessed another intersection of the two realms. My good friend and brother, D Willy, became a wedded man. The preacher remarked that one of the reasons we anticipate weddings even though we already know the surprise is because a wedding is a time when the veil between the realms becomes thin. A wedding helps us see two things that are from God's realm. First, it gives us a glimpse into the original order of things. For one day, a man and a woman come together to united as one flesh. I can't help but think that the Creator of Romance who has brought them together remembers the first Day that a man and a woman were brought together. This wedding day points back to that day. Second, it gives us a glimpse of the future that is to come. One day, the Lover of Humanity will return. On that day, he will be the Bridegroom who is eagerly waiting for his bride. He will have the same smile that I have seen on my friend's faces as his Bride makes her way to him. She will be radiant in her pure spotless gown. On that day, we, the Church, will be that bride. We will be guests at the greatest Wedding Feast ever seen. At the wedding of the Lamb all will be set right and all will finally be truly good. The old order of things will have passed, and the new order will begin. What a glorious day that will be. Every wedding we attend point us back to the first time a man and woman came together, and it points us forward to the Day when the Lamb shall have his Bride.

On Saturday, I caught a brief glimpse of the other realm. treasure the glimpses...

Peter and John

I'm sure almost everyone made this statment when they were a child, "but that's not fair". I am almost as equally sure that your parents responded like mine with the phrase, "yes, but life's not fair." Life is not fair. This is easily seen if you look across the landscape of the world. If life were fair, children in South Africa would not be oprhaned by AIDS, parents would not divorce, young girls would not be sexually abused, racism would not persist, etc. Life is not fair. Now, you may raise the question what has sparked my thinking about this subject? Was it any of these harsh realities of our world? Nope, it was Valentine's Day. I will explain. I am not a typically jealous person. I don't covet most of what other people have. I don't spend my time devising ways to get the cool gadgets and toys that others own. But, I am jealous of those in relationships, not in the way that I would try to take someone's girlfriend, but in the way that I want what they appear to have. I am jealous of that. My lack of success with the female sex has been well documented. I have been single for a long time, longer than many people I know. This is where I begin to be jealous. I see people who are great people, deserving, loving, and all around awesome people finding and developing relationships. I am happy for them, but at the same time I am jealous. Soon after I speak the congratulations, inwardly I speak the question, "when will my time come?" This is when I have once again realized that life is not fair. More importantly, God is not fair. In all acutality, God cares nothing for fairness. He cares about justice, but not about my definition of fairness. This reminds me of the story in John 21. Jesus has risen from the dead and appeared to the apsotles. He meets them while they are fishing. He calls out to them from the beach and they have a great catch of fish. They realize it is Jesus. Peter jumps out of the boat and swims to shore. After the rest of the apostles reach the beach, they share a breakfast of fish and bread. Jesus begins asking Peter if he loves him. Peter replies with the affirmative. Jesus continues asking. Peter becomes distressed. Jesus then tells him how he will die and to follow him. Peter looks back at John and asks Jesus, "what about him?' Jesus tells Peter its none of his business what happens to John. Peter's duty is to follow Jesus. In Peter's mind, it would only have been fair if John would share in the same kind of death, but in essence Jesus says fairness matters nothing, only obedience does. God knows what my heart desires. Fairness says I should get what I want, obedience says I must follow irregardless.

"Father, when will my time come?"
-Super Dave

"Follow Me!"
-Jesus

I'm A Shredder!

I thought this day would never come, the day I could call myself a shredder. Now, I am not talking about shredder in terms of snowboarding, oh no. I am a shredder on the guitar. I can shred with the best of them now, and by now and the best of them I mean the best of those who play guitar hero for the ps2. I have not learned how to play a real guitar, but I can shred on my new guitar video game controller to classic toons like killer queen, smoke on the water, iron man, and symphony of destruction. I have mastered the art of the whammy bar and star power. In other words, I have become addicted to this game, Guita Hero. I spend my evenings after meetings shredding on the game. I have beaten easy and medium, the next challenge is hard. So how will Super Dave celebrate Valentine's Day, prolly by playing guitar hero and watching my video game rock god self get all the girls. Maybe one day the video game will be reality!

Death

We hear about death at least once a week. Usually, its on the news or from a friend who had a friend who had a friend that had someone die. It doesn't affect us until it hits close to us. Evolutionary theorists and humanists try to get us to believe that death is natural. It is simply a part of the cycle of life. We live then we die. The Bible acknowledges that for each person there is a time to be born and a time to die. But, the Bible does not show that death is natural. It was never a part of God's plan. Death is a consequence of humanity's sin. The Bible says that the wages of sin is death. Usually, I associate this with spiritual death. We will die by being separated from God. I had not fully realized that this verse includes physical death as well. We die because of sin. This is not meaning that those who die unexpectedly or young, die because they are horrible sinners. The Bible speaks in the Psalms how the righteous die but the wicked prosper. People die because each of us sin. We sin, therefore death will come. Death was never meant to happen. God's plan was for us to live forever with him in the garden. Wonderfully, he came into our world as Jesus and made a way for us to restore our life with him. We can't escape death, but the sting is gone. The after effect of separation from God had been demolished for those in Christ. Death sucks, but God has overcome death.

The Name Game

Buckle your seatbelts, hold on tight, place all valuable eyewear in a secure place, get ready for a good ole fashioned rant!

One of my biggest pet peeves in the blogosphere are anonymous commenters. People will come post a comment and not leave a name. Sometimes they post good things, sometimes they post bad things, sometimes they are flat out mean. Yet they never tell you who they were. It could be they simply aren't smart enough to figure out that even though they have to log on as anonymous they can still leave their name at the bottom.

An example:

anonymous said...
i think super dave smells like cabbage.
-Super Dave
12:00 PM, January 5, 2006

See, it's not that hard to do. You may not have blogger, but you can still identify who you are. Some people may say they don't want to leave their name because they are afraid of the repercussions from what they said. Hey if you aren't man or woman enough to deal with the consequences of what you say, then don't say it. Stop being wimps and wusses who aren't willing to stand up and be recognized. Anonymous comments piss me off, but if you talk crap about me in an anonymous comment, I won't respond. I will get pissed, but I won't let it eat at me. I will forget about it. It will carry no real weight with me. I will only get pissed because you didn't have the guts to reveal yourself. What you say will make no difference to me if you don't have the dignity to say who you are.

The moral of my rant, don't post anonymous comments without saying who you are. If you do, I will delete it!

Death By Cheese

Usually, I am a big fan of cheese. I like all varieties of it, american, mozzerella, provolone, pepper jack, colby jack, swiss, bleu, muenster, and etc... However at certain times, I do not like cheese at all. I don't like cheese when it is found in conjunction with the church. Now, I don't mean a church shouldn't have cheese at a fellowship dinner or even that a church should not hold a wine and cheese tasting social affair, though unlikely in the midwest. I don't like cheese in the Church in the form of cheesiness. I try to hold to a strict "No Cheese in Church" policy. Unfortunately, I am in a miniority at times when it comes to this policy. This past weekend, I witnessed a great example of keeping the Cheese out of the Church and a horribly painful example of Cheese all up in the Church. The first example was Christmas in the Chapel at LCC. Every year, they do a tremendous job writing a musical production that is funny but not cheesy. This there were a few moments that smelled vaguely of cheese, but they were handled in such a way to avoid being downright cheesy. The second example was a play that came to Mason City called For the Love of the Lamb. It was done by an acting troupe called For One Ministries. I must say that I applaud these people who are not professional actors for their passion to share the gospel in dramatic form. Unfortunately, they had plenty of cheese. Part of the reason for this has to do with the fact that they are not professionals. The woman who writes the plays is not a professional playwright. I felt like I was being tortured by the Cheese as I watched this play. What was so cheesy? In an early scene, Jesus is a young boy who is helping in his Father's workshop. He holds up two nails and simply stares at them. Joseph grabs them saying, "those are sharp". Then Jesus grabs a large board and starts to carry it across his back, but he drops it. Joseph asks him what he was doing. Jesus response was I don't know. These were meant to be a foreshadowing of the cross, but there place in the story did not fit and they felt forced, which they were. There were other examples of Cheese, but I have been trying to block all thoughts of this play from my mind so I don't remember the specifics.

I hate Cheese in the Church. If we are going to do something, we should do it to the best. We are the guardians of the imago dei. We should be at the forefront of creativity and imagination. Instead, the Church lags behind. Who will join me in a "No Cheese in the Church" policy?

Broken, I Fall...

There are times when something happens in your life that exposes who you really are, you see past the hopeful and into the real. Today, I have begun to see. I am not the man I want to be. I am not the man I hope to be. I am not the man I thought I was.

I thought I was kind. I thought I was loving. I thought I had integrity. I thought I was honest. I thought I could be trusted. I thought I was honorable. I thought I guarded my relationships with diligence. Well, I thought wrong.

I have come face to face with the fact that I am in desperate need of forgiveness. I have seen that I have light years to go in being Christ like. I am so far from being like Jesus. I need your help Lord, make me like you. Change me, mold me, break me, make me into the man I am called to be.

I am terribly sorry. I am broken. I fall...

Holer Titus Football and the Male Ego

I am amazed at the competitive ego of men. We want to win so badly at almost everything. Ladies, I don't know how competitive you are or how you handle competition so I am going to refer strictly to guys in this post. For years, the Hole has lost the Holer Titus Football Game guarranteed. Yet, every year the Hole thinks it has a chance of winning. Then when we do lose, we get mad about it or we complain that if we had played the right guys we would have won. I am not a very competitive guy. I love to play sports and compete, but I don't get wrapped up in competition. However, there are times when I become extremely competitive and frustrated when I lose. This always occurs when I lose to a person or a team that in my mind I am better than. If I go into a competition thinking I am better than my opponent, I get very angry if I lose. Now, I am all for going out and giving 100%, but it seems men are more angered by losing to a "lesser" opponent than being beaten by a better or equal team after giving their all. For this reason, I believe pride is the root of the male competitive spirit. Its primarily when guys lose to somone whom they think they should beat that anger and tension occurs. If we could compete without our pride, we could really compete at 100% and truly have fun. If we could live our lives free from pride, what a free life we would have...

The Richest of Fare

Two posts, one night, crazy...

"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satifsy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isaiah 55:2

This verse conjures up memories of C. S. Lewis classic The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. In one part of it, Edmund is found by the White Witch. She convinces him up into her sleigh by offering him a piece of Turkish Delight. She promises him that if he brings his brother and sisters to her, she will let him eat all of the Turkish Delight he wants. After tasting this, he is constantly craving more of it. It does not satisfy him.

This verse makes me think of this story for two reasons. First, the verse has the word delight and so does the story. Second, the basic premise of verse is found in the story. God recognizes that so many times in our lives, we spend our time on things that will not satisfy us. I see this true in my life. Instead of listening to God and spending time with him I look elsewhere for satisfaction and contentment. Unfortunately, the enemy know exactly what we think we want or need for satisfaction. In Edmund's case it was delicious Turkish Delight. In mine, its other things. What is it satan offers you that does not satisfy? God is holding out his hand with exactly what will satisfy us. All we need to do is reach out and take it, and then our souls will delight in the richest of fare. My soul aches to taste, to delight in the richest of fare.

Abba, I come to you broken, lonely, aching, needing you to satisfy, take this heart of stone and make it yours, i delight myself in the richest of fare trading all that i have had for all that is better, a garement of praise for my heaviness, you are the greatest taste, you're the richest of fare...

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

I have known for a while that I am a people person. At times, I am shy when meeting new people but overall I am a people person. I love people. I love being around people. I love having people around. Recent events and series of thoughts have brought this fact to the forefront. A couple weeks ago my roomate Ed moved out. He moved back to Chicago to live at home since he got a job up there, which he was unable to do down here. Since Ed left, I have had to become accustomed to going home to an empty house again. No roomate, no pets, no one here. I come home to a house waiting for me to come turn on a light to signify some sort of human presence. Also, I have been thinking about some upcoming changes in my life. These are not drastic gigantic changes but siginificant nonetheless. At the end of this semester, my good friend Squeaky will go on his internship. I have realized that since my return to the area, I have built a strong friendship with Squeaks. When I hang out with people, it is usually with a group of people that includes Squeaky. He is my accountability partner. He is one of my closest friends. Most likely he will not be on his internship anywhere close. My prayer is that God puts him in the right place where ever that is. Our friendship will change. We will not hang out as much or talk as often, this is ok. Moreover, when summer comes more of my friends will either go home or begin a new chapter in their lives. Derek, Nolan, Roomie, Ross, Dan, Rachel, Hammer, Crazy Zack, each will most likely not be close by when summer comes. I know that in the absence of each of these friendships God will provide another. He created each of us for relationships. He said, it is not good for man to be alone. As a result, he created Eve. He will provide someone to fill that void. Not as a replacement but as another bright light in a beautiful sky of friendship. The point of this post is not to be saddened by these changes but to remind us to cherish our friends and the impact they make on our lives. Take time to tell your friends how much they mean to you and how much you love them.

to each of you who has touched my life and given me the honor and privilege to be blessed enough to be called your friend, I say thank you and I love you, may my life have blessed yours as deeply and richly as you have blessed mine...

My Ode to the 5-0

A Brother of the Heart is hard to find.
A Friend for life is beyond riches.
A Warrior fighting with you is needed.

My brother, my friend, my fellow warrior
our paths have parted, our friendship remains
many hours apart, the reunion is instant
the joy of fellowship a constant companion
shared sorrow, shared pain, shared joy
endless hours spent watching movies
countless times the same subject returns
the wiles and allure of the female sex
gorged on food and fun
playing tetris attack all night long
renewal, revival, revolution
partake of the richest of fare as is your destiny

My brother, My friend, My Cymbrogi for life

Keep the Faith, 5-0...

The Age of My Discontent

For the last couple weeks, I have been in a place where I lack contentment. The overall feel of my life is good. Its fun. Its exciting. Its Super. But one area gnaws at my spirit. It slowly seeps the life out of my heart no matter what I do, I continue to battle this lack of contenment. In ages past, I was able to be content no matter the circumstances. This area was the same but I was ok, I was content. As of late, a feeling of despair has set in. I don't know how to overcome it and return to a place of contentment. I know what scripture says. I know that God is good. I know patience is key. I know the best things come to those who trust and wait. Despite knowing all this, I ache. I cast my cares up to the Lord, and yet they remain. Is this my thorn to bear? Will it remain all my days? How long o Lord, how long?

Prairie Harvest Days

I need to preface this post by saying that I worked for four consecutive summers as a carnie. I was a part time carnie since I still have my teeth and don't reek like cabbage. I worked for Wentz foods and made the best funnelcakes to be found at any fair. Most of the fairs I worked where meduim to large in scale.

Knowing this I shall get on with my post. Tonight, I ventured up town to Mason City's big town festival, Prairie Harvest Days. Ever since I arrived in the Big MC I have heard about PHD. Everyone talks about it like it is the biggest thing since sliced bread, and let me tell ya sliced bread is a big deal without it we could not have sammiches, but I digress. I went up to the fest with images from my funnelcakin days floatin in my head. Boy was I wrong. There were a few rides, one fair style concession booth, some stick joints (food tents, sorry that was carnie lingo), and some locals selling various foodstuffs. All in all I was immensely dissapointed in it. But I hear tommorow will be better. There is supposed to be tomahawk throwing, and that could lead to some scalpin, yeah...

Friends! or Friends?

Many things in my life have changed in the last year. I moved out of my parent's house for good. I began my first full time ministry. I finally got past the second date barrier. I graduated from college. I began graduate work in seminary. I bought a motorcycle. Etc...

Even though all these things have changed, my social life and social circle has remained the same in many ways. I live in Mason City which is 20 miles from Lincoln so most of my social cirlce is made up of people who are students at LCC. My question for all of you who read this blog, now that I am in seminary should my time spent hanging out with college students change? I know where I come down on this question but I am curious what you think...